My Plea to Restaurant Owners

I'm blessed with having parents who are amazingly spry and with it mentally and are pushing eighty-two and ninety-one, respectively. My stepfather was a POW in World War II and worked in the mines in northern Japan. As a result of that and working in machines shops all his life, he is pretty deaf. He wears hearing aids, and, yes, they are top-of-the-line hearing aids, but still there are limitations to what a hearing aid can do. Background noise is problematic.

Anyway, we took my mother out for her eighty-second birthday last night and as is common these days, the server began rattling off a laundry list of that night's specials. Because of the background noise and how fast she was speaking my stepfather missed ninety percent of what she said. My mother, who was at the end of the table and is going slightly deaf (although she denies it), couldn't hear anything this woman said.

Restaurants, spend a couple of dollars a day and TYPE UP AND PRINT OUT THE SPECIALS AND CLIP THEM TO YOUR MENUS so that seniors can take full advantage of the lovely fare you have to offer. Instead of putting them in the position of (a) admitting they're are deaf and making the waiter repeat what they've said four times; or (b) having them pretend they aren't deaf and not ordering what they want.

More Thinkee Thoughts on "Game of Thrones"

I was discussing with a friend the "Game of Thrones" books. He's on book four and I've got books three and four lined up to get me through my work-related business next month in Lisbon. And we were talking about my observation in my last post about how fearless Martin is. He is so bold. He is beholden to no character. He kills off the characters we love, he has the characters we despise triumph. He will spend three chapters establishing our loyalty (or at least sympathy) to a character that he THEN proceeds to kill off. Like, I said, the man has authorial balls.

We were also discussing the issue of how the book is chopped up into different, competing POVs. I think that this can be problematic for the reader because we are leaping around from venue to venue, character to character, more often than not ending a specific POV on a cliff hanger that doesn't get resolved until two hundred pages later. And yet we don't mind. At least, I don't. I've been trying to put my finger on why this doesn't bother me, because normally I prefer a fairly coherent narrative, and I think it's because of Tyrion Lannister. He acts as the reliable narrator and holds the entire series together while all the action takes place in other arenas. He's the ringmaster of the book.

I personally adore Tyrion, but that's not really the issue. It's that his POV is actually the "true" POV of the book. Oh, you might hate him, hate his relatives, hate it when he's successful, love it when he's debased, but he's rarely, if ever wrong about ANY of the characters or the action. He despises his nephew for all the right reasons, but he's also determined to help him keep his throne. Tyrion's assessment of the other characters and the action in the book are all seen through an extremely rational lens, albeit with Lannister-colored glasses.

His POV helps anchor the narrative so that we can leap from POV to POV without getting whiplash. I sigh with relief with I finally arrive back in his POV because I can relax. I'm "home" in a sense. I trust him as a character in a funny way.

Please. Don't tell me if he gets killed off. I can't handle it.

Why I'm Loving "Game of Thrones"

This isn't a book review, per se. It's about looking at a book author to author. Once you start writing and have achieved a modest level of competence, the reading process is never the same. It's much like seeing a woman who is flawlessly made up, stripped naked of all her make-up, and what you're left with is the bones. Sometimes she's even more beautiful without all that crap on her face, and sometimes she's not. When I dislike a book, I really tend to dislike it. Because I know that it's not that hard to fix holes in a plot, and I can smell when an author is being lazy and phoning it in (which tends to happen in a long-running series), or is enamored with their status as an author and thinks that anything can pretty well fly. All of the above make me extremely intolerant and, as this blog so often attests, something of a cranky pants when it comes to writing.

However, the converse is also true. When I see an author make a decent stab at a book, even a book that has one or two major flaws, I am so willing to forgive. Because it's both incredibly easy and astonishingly hard to write a book. And when someone's passion flies off the page, I am more than willing to forgive, well, an awful lot if they care about their characters.

This brings us to the Game of Thrones series. I've just finished book 2 and have books 3 and 4 all lined up to go. Why do I love this series so much? Are there flaws? Yes, there are flaws. When George R.R. Martin's characterization is brilliant, it is really brilliant. When it is awful, then, it's pretty bad. I have hopes for Sansa Stark, but she started off ridiculously stupid in a family of very bright people, and if it hadn't been for the stunning, just jaw-dropping characterization of Tyrion Lannister, I don't know if I would have finished the book. But Tyrion is truly amazing and Sansa is improving. I don't know anything about Martin's personal life, but I'm guessing he doesn't have children, because the children in these books are both far too young and far too old, but he tells a cracking good story, so, yes, the magic is still working for me.

But what he does, and I admire this so much, is that he's fearless. He kills off people we love. He humiliates people we admire. He makes proud, decent men do ugly, awful things. He has the bastards be triumphant. For this alone he should be read by anyone who wants to write a book. Because if you become a fearless author, then your reader will always be on tenterhooks. Because you're not afraid to do anything with your characters. Which means that the person turning the page has no idea what's going to happen next.

Bravo, George! Bravo!

Must Love Dogs

Fair warning: this is a post about my dog and not a book review. I have read that book, which has its charming bits but kind of falls apart at the end, and once again I find myself wondering what makes Hollywood select one book over another to option. I had a similar reaction to the movie, but I do like Diane Lane and John Cusack a lot, so I was willing to actually see it in a theater (even though it's definitely only netflix caliber).

This is a dog post inspired by the fact that I came downstairs this morning and once again the dog's water dish was empty. Now my bedroom is an addition squatting over the garage, and we have to keep our bedroom door open because we have a cat who sees a closed door as an act of war, so I can hear anyone who comes into the kitchen. I know that several people (glares at husband, daughter, and son) came into the kitchen after I went to bed and did not check the dog's water bowl.

Which I do every time I enter the kitchen.

This is why the dogs always love me best. Love me with that adoration that only dogs can bestow, that, I will do anything for you, you r teh bomb, you are the first thing I think of when I go to sleep and the last thing I think of, kind of love. In humans this is psychotic stalkerish behavior, in dogs it's pretty normal.

The kids resent this because they know on one level they are much cuter. But they aren't consistent. Those same mommy genes that program me to know when they have a cold before they have a cold, ask them if they've eaten in the last three hours because I suspect not because they are as cranky as a bag of weasels (blood sugar issues), and always remind my daughter to bring a sweater ANY WHERE we go because the girl is half lizard are the same genes that make never forget to feed the dog and fill its water dish. Dogs are simple creatures. They really only have three speeds: affectionate, giddy, and mopey. We have a Golden and he really does get a wee bit giddy. He also gets mopey if I'm not home. But mainly he's just plain affectionate.


They can also be maddening, as when their biological imperative to chew ends up destroying the drip system, lawn chairs, and plants. I remember piling up numerous tales of chewing woe to regale my vet with, only to be told, hmmm, not that much of a chewer for its breed. NOT MUCH OF A CHEWER??????????? Then I remember the previous dog who ate through a sheet vinyl floor (so that we had charming patches of duck tape over the holes for five years as that remodel was going to happen any day), stripped the wall paper off the kitchen walls (which my husband replaced with "wainscoting," which I put in quotes because it was that sheet plastic you see in fast food restaurants), and drip system number 1. No, we didn't learn our lesson, and when it came time to think about another dog--or, to be honest, the kids and I were thinking about another dog; my husband is an unrepentant cat person, I wonder why--we broke down and got another puppy.

Bear is now over two years old and is probably the sweetest dog on the face of this earth. How sweet? Even my husband likes him. And truly, I can have the crappiest day in the world and I know there will be someone who greets me with uncomplicated adoration when I walk in the door. Just because it's me.

And because the second thing I do after dumping my purse in a random chair is to check his water dish.

And Then This Happened

Things have been unsettled for several months. I hit a horrible patch at work, my mother became ill, my kids graduated from high school and college, and I don't know what to do with my writerly self. Well, I sort of know. I have this Jane Austen pastiche that I need to self-publish. I have reached the point where it's nearly there, but the nitty-gritty details have to be dealt with. And being detail oriented at work means that being detail oriented the rest of the time is difficult. I want a break from details! But now that things are sort of stable, I need to sit down and wade through the minutia of this process.

What do I do next? I have a fabulous idea for another Mary Ryan book that I think I could pound out in three months. I have something of a passion for pirates, and I have plans to write a fantasy set in the 19th century. Swashbuckling and the Regency and swords, oh my. I've been reading up on 19th century Britain and did you know that coffee houses were your modern day equivalent of a street corner. Prostitutes plied their "wares" at coffee houses.

And part of my issue is that I edit for my job. It's very difficult to wrangle with other people's words all day and then come home and try to comb your brain for something intelligent to say. Really, all you want to do is watch HGTV reruns with the Property Brothers. Or reread Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (for the eighth time).

I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's At Home. Expect a review soon.

Book Review: The Beginner's Goodbye by Anne Tyler

I love Anne Tyler. She writes like I wish I could write, with a causal style that seems so easy and isn't, and when you actually take it apart you realize that it's not casual at all. Every word matters. And there's always a great zinger, that one sentence or phrase that ties the seemingly casual four paragraphs together with a "See? This is where I was going."

Given the demise of bookstores (who would have predicted three years ago that I would bemoaning the closure of chains!!!!), I buy actual books whenever I can. I have a bottom-basement e-reader. I use it on occasion. But even those who love readers will note that it's not the same read. It's like my job as an editor. When I really need to pick a manuscript apart, I have to print it out. The three-dimensional aspect of paper, type, and your eye/hand whatever contribute to a deeper read. I should ask my opthamologist why.

Reading for real enjoyment (or for work) needs that three-dimensional component to it. Naturally, I have read several books on my e-reader and have enjoyed them. But as I was browsing in my local bookstore the other day, I saw a copy of a book that I adored (The Paris Wife) that I had purchased as an e-book, and I loved it so much that I've decided to buy it. In hardcover. Because it was that good and I think that if I read it in hardcover, I would enjoy it even more.

Anyway, I saw that Anne Tyler was out with a new book [The Beginner's Goodbye (BG)] and I rushed to buy it. Well, I don't know if it qualifies as a book, more novella than novel, but why quibble? She is one of my favorite American authors: Breathing Lessons, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant, and The Accidental Tourist are all fabulous reads, top notch. She's like the American Jane Austen, except her books aren't about unmarried women in the English countryside, they are about unhappily married couples in Baltimore. There's always a quirky aspect to her stories and I like that. Because I think most people are quirky, they just try to hide it.

Did I like it? Well, yes and no? I add the question mark because I'm still thinking about it (which I think is always a good thing, except in the case of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a book that I couldn't get out of my head because the popularity of such a mediocre book had me mulling over the vagaries of the publishing industry for weeks). The Beginner's Goodbye has a great premise (dead wife comes back to resolve on some level what had been an unhappy marriage).  Tyler always has some thoughtful observations on relationships, and what I've liked about her previous novels is that she ends her books with her characters earning a type of happiness, but it's not all wrapped up in a bow. This book's ending had a big fat ribbon around it with sparkles on the ribbon. Not only did the ending feel false, I think she could have ended it without the final chapter and it would have been a much stronger book--although even shorter.

Also, if you want to read a book that I think has very similar elements, and, in fact, feels like the same book but in its final draft, read The Accidental Tourist (TAT). In BG the protagonist suffers a stroke as a child and is paralyzed on one side. In TAT, our protagonist suffers a broken leg. Both men are almost destroyed by a death in their family, both protagonists end up with their houses being unfit for habitation and move in with their sisters, and both of these sisters, who seemed fated to spinsterhood, end up making improbable marriages. Both men work at small publishing houses that feature books in a niche market. Finally, both men end up marrying their polar opposites. Okay, BG doesn't have a dog in it, I admit. But this struck me as being essentially the same novel. At many points in this novel, I thought that the protagonist of TAT was speaking when it was Aaron of BG. I loved TAT, so it's not like I can say I don't like BG. But when I put it down (it's a two-hour read max), I wanted to pick up TAT again and savor it, because The Beginner's Goodbye felt unfinished and unrealized, and worse, a retread.

In short, it's a well written (if somewhat limited) book, but if you want to read it all fleshed out, with a fully imagined plot and some kick-ass characterizations, pick up The Accidental Tourist.

Note of Sadness

The world of writing and reading and my general cranky pants approach to life has been interrupted by one of life's real moments: the death of a family member. My mother-in-law passed away this week. She had been in failing health for many months, but I don't know if that makes it easier. Perhaps less of a surprise, yes, the but the sense of loss is the same. Someone who has filled a place in one's life is no longer there. The longer I live, the more I realize how irreplaceable people are. Their unique contribution remains unique. You fill in the hours that would have been their hours with other people, other conversations, but their unique scent doesn't fill the room and their particular voice is silent.

Not being religious people, we are all struggling how to structure her memorial in the absence of ritual. Because the thing about ritual is that there are distinct road maps. Given that neither of us are formal people, my husband and I struggled with this when we got married. My sister had a full-blown Catholic mass, which was very big on ritual and their responses scripted out. Being total pagans, my husband and I couldn't go that route, and without a traditional structure, we found that our ceremony was going to be approximately three minutes long and that included the music. We filled the time with poems that we both loved and stretched out the music, and hoped against hope that no one would miss our vows to each other if they yawned.

Similarly, we are now organizing a memorial that has no structure other than we're all terribly sad, we agree that food would be lovely, and perhaps some New Orleans jazz would be grand. Perhaps a tribute or two would be also be nice. And maybe that's enough